NINTH STORY BOOK
ORANGES AND HALVES
AND OTHER STORIES
BY THEO TAMMES
Contents
I Oranges and Halves Page 3
II All the King’s Horses Page 5
III The Dancing Candles Page 7
IV The Grey Hunters Page 9
V Deep Space Hunter Page 12
VI Trees and Horses Page 14
VII Always and Never Page 17
VIII Inside and Outside Page 18
IX Shadow Page 19
X Pain and Fear Page 20
XI Pain and Love Page 22
XII The Tau of Life Page 23
Finished in February 1996
Glasgow
Edited and revised in Howmore, 2003
©
Copyright by
THEo Tammes
Casa Azul
Porto do Paul
Pernes
2000-500
Portugal
I ORANGES AND HALVES
Somewhere out there, in this beautiful universe of ours, there is a planet where life is so strange, you wouldn’t believe it.
For some reason, and don’t ask me why, you can get everything on that planet in halves.
Yes indeed, very strange. And it doesn’t make life any easier for the poor inhabitants. It complicates life drastically, and to be honest, I don’t know how they cope with it. As a matter of fact life on planet Earth is complicated enough, but imagine you could only buy something if you find someone else who wants to buy the other half at the same time as you do!
They have learned how to manage; I mean communications on that planet are fantastic! Plain unbelievable.
It’s fine as long as you want to buy anything that can be cut in half easily enough. They just cut it and you take your half.
But you just can’t buy half a car or horse. Half a house or central heating just doesn’t do. A loaf of bread, an apple or banana, that’s all things you can halve easy enough.
But half a fridge, half a television?
You see what I mean? It would drive me mad. Of course the good thing is that they have learned to co-operate. There is an ongoing exchange of offers for half-buys and sharing.
But what use is it to find another person to buy the other half of your cow, when that person lives sixty miles away?
I mean, you got to be realistic about all that. So there’s trouble for you. You might expect them to make things in half, but they don’t. They just make things as we do.
You want a roll and a cup of coffee for your breakfast? You need to find someone to share it! It’s very funny of course as well. The amount of people you have intimate dealings with is amazing.
Want a smoke? Who buys the other half of your fags? For a while the inhabitants of this planet thought it was a good idea to pair off, to live as couples. That’s great, it does simplify things. But who wants always the same as their partners?
Lots of fights there, no wonder.
He might like a coffee, and she a tea.
So what do you do? One of the two gives in, for a while you get along with that, but one day you just explode.
And as soon as a child arrives you’re in troubles all over again.
So nowadays they’re just very helpful to each other, very polite and generous.
They buy each other’s other halves even when they don’t need it or want it. Just to please each other.
And that’s wonderful, apart from being a necessity.
The only problem they really have is oranges, strangely enough, because they love them. If they want an orange they want a whole orange, not a half.
You would say: “Why can’t they buy two oranges together then?” Well they just can’t.
So they fight over their oranges. That’s silly, but that’s the way it is. Orange-sellers lead a dangerous life on this planet, that’s for sure. Anyway, apart from that they all lived happily ever after.
The end
II ALL THE KING’S HORSES
Once upon a time there was a king who had six horses. One for each day of the week, and none for Sundays.
For Sunday was a holy day and you weren’t supposed to do anything apart from praying and going to church. It was just like that in this little country, which, by the way, was very beautiful.
Children didn’t like the Sundays, more, they positively hated the Sundays.
“Nae wonder”, I hear you say.
They weren’t supposed to run and play or do anything nice and exciting. They had to sit still for hours or read the bible, and they got so bored that they could only eat out of their noses and even that was forbidden. There were no hot meals on a Sunday, no hot drinks. The heating was off and all the poor people and their poor children had a miserable time on the Sundays. The king didn’t have much fun on Sundays either. He loved to go riding on his horses, every day on another one, but on Sundays there was no horse and no riding.
Because he was king he did have some little pleasure on the Sundays, like hot meals and the fires were lit in his palace, but he had to go to Church as well and he didn’t like it.
But he had to listen to the Church, which was very mighty in those days.
Luckily one day everything changed
People nowadays can hardly remember all the horrible things they had to put up with all their life, until the horse came.
For it came one day, all by itself.
The seventh horse.
It walked through the county, right up to the palace gardens, on a Sunday. Nobody caught it, for that would have meant to work, and work was strictly forbidden on a Sunday!
The horse walked up the stairs to the terrace and looked through the window at the king.
The king was looking outside because he was bored and wanted to go for a tide. And then he saw this horse looking at him.
One of those amazing things happened. When two souls meet and eternal love and friendship are born immediately.
The horse shook its mane, called out rather impatiently to the king, as if it were saying: “Come on, let’s get the hell out of here.” And the king opened the door, stepped out on the terrace and mounted the horse. Oh, how he enjoyed this ride!
It seemed to him like it was the first time he sat upon a real horse. And the horse carried him so proud!
A wonderful sight it was. All and every single person in this country who saw the king riding his horse on this Sunday, was pleased.
From now on the king had seven horses in his stables, one for every day of the week. And he rode every day of the week, never mind Sundays or not. He stopped going to Church for it didn’t give him any pleasure and he had enough of ministers telling him how he was a sinner and how all sinners would burn in Hell. He just told himself that if he was going to burn in Hell after his death anyway, he wanted to have some fun before that whilst he was still alive.
That seemed so reasonable that almost all the people in this count agreed with their king.
Not the Church of course, not at all. But nobody wanted to listen to the ministers any more. Everyone thought they should rather enjoy life as long as they were alive. I dare say that things changed for the better. Nowadays this country is a wonderful place to be. People started to worship life itself, instead of some old grim God, and their fear of the Devil and Hell became less and less.
A country full of happy people and happy horses, that’s what it is like now. And the king’s seventh horse has always kept a very special place in their hearts.
They all lived happily ever after, and I don’t think they had to go to Hell after they died. I thing that people who enjoy life are already a little bit in Heaven.
And when they die they will surely go to a bigger Heaven.
The end
III THE DANCING CANDLES
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, before you were born or your father, before your father’s father was born, in fact so long ago that no one remembers that time there was a candle.
A perfectly normal candle, white as most candles, and it was intended to be used as any other candle, to light a room and give some warmth to comfort weary eyes and tired souls.
It was in the time long before there was electric light, when candles and lanterns were the only means people had to light their dwellings in the dark of night.
But this candle was different from other candles. It could dance and sing. And it did.
Wherever the candle was lit it did not only shine with a warm glow, it danced and sang as well. And it danced very well. Slowly most of the time, but sometimes with quick steps.
The melodies it sang were wonderful and filled people’s hearts with peace.
Of course that candle became famous and many were the people who wanted to possess her or even just wanted to see her.
But she was a free spirit and wouldn’t be kept anywhere. She chose herself where she wanted to be, and only sang and danced where she liked. One day, as it happened, she met a blue and a golden candle in a candle-makers workshop.
And between those three there was an instant recognition, a feeling of knowing each other and being friends.
From then on the three candles went through the world together. Whenever they found a place they liked they performed their dances and songs and people just marvelled at them.
Of course many people tried to make candles that could sing and dance, for everyone was so pleased with the three candles.
But no one ever found the secret of making a dancing candle. It was very strange indeed that those three candles never burnt down like all the other candles do. They never became even half an inch shorter. It has been told that those three candles still roam our planet and people can still see them perform if they are very lucky. The golden one gives peace to people’s hearts.
The blue one sets people’s minds at peace, and the white candle lights all the way up to heaven.
There are a lot of people nowadays on our planet, and there is a lot of electric light.
But if you burn a candle in the dark of night, to light your room and comfort you soul, maybe you’ll come across those dancing candles. And yes, they all lived happily ever alter.
The end
IV THE GREY HUNTERS
Once upon a time in this wonderful universe of ours, there was a planet that was in a sense very similar to our own beautiful planet.
There was life or this planet, lots of life.
There were plants and animals in endless variations and there was a sort of people too. Not that they looked a lot like you and me, oh no, but they had a lot in common.
They were an old race, very old. And they had gone through their own evolution with a lot of the same mistakes as we are making.
Endless wars there had been, strong aggression and lots of competition. And there had been much damage done to their ecosystems, severe poisoning of the environment. Just before they destroyed themselves and life on their planet, something strange had happened.
They had started to understand that they were on the wrong track and had to change their ways.
It had been a hard struggle, but it had been worthwhile.
They changed their lifestyle and used their technology to create what was needed without pollution and destruction.
Of course they had to control their population.
After all they were the most successful species on their planet, and their fertility was still high. They stopped having countries that rivalled with each other and they had become a world of one people, never mind where they came from or how they looked. Wars and famine had slowly disappeared, and people’s energy was used to create a society where people came first, using their abilities to the good of all and themselves.
It was amazing!
Life was good. There was happiness and harmony on this planet.
They explored the stars and the universe and settled on many different planets.
Somehow they had managed to control their shape and adjust to different conditions on different planets, so they didn’t need to disturb the balance on new planets when they wanted to settle down. Oh yes, they were amazing, most amazing!
But still, although they were so perfect and peaceful, there was a little bit of crime and aggression on their home planet. Still there was greed and pain and some unhappiness.
So their rulers studied the problem and they thought long and deep about it. Why weren’t they all just perfectly happy?
Ah well, sooner or later they found out what the origin of troubles might be and they balanced their ignorance about colours.
They found out that grey was a colour that could be the source of many disturbances and that the colour grey could create pain and unhappiness. So they started a big campaign to remove grey everywhere. The grey-hunters were established and they did have a giantous task,
Every house, every building, any construction that was ever made had to be inspected and any grey surface anywhere they found had to be redecorated.
And the grey-hunters found a lot of grey.
Although most of their dwellings were beautiful and very colourful, lots of places had grey in them. Over the years all the grey areas were repainted with other colours, and designers and artists had an incredibly good time. There was more work for them than ever. Every wardrobe was inspected and grey garments were either dyed in other colours or replaced and recycled. Planes and trains were painted in the nicest colours.
Even steel was turned into coloured steel of many different colours by some very ingenious methods.
The time came that the grey-hunters were finished with their job because there was no more grey on the planet. To show their happiness with the completion of their big task, there was a planet wide party for everyone.
Oh yes, they were all so happy! Until someone made an awful discovery. There was still grey!
Every morning, between night and day there was a time that the light was grey and dim.
And every evening, between day and night, there was a time the light turned to grey again.
The people were shocked by this realisation, but there was nothing anyone could do about it.
That kind of grey was there and would always be part of their lives. But still I think it was a very good thing they did, to get rid of as much grey as they could, and use as many nice colours as possible in every aspect of their lives.
And of course they all lived happily ever after.
It has been said that some time long ago they came to our planet and we are their descendants.
That’s as it may be, but if so, why do we have so much grey and so little harmony?
The end
V DEEP SPACE HUNTER
Far away, somewhere in the unreachable depths of the universe, there is a being that is so enormous in seize, so completely alien from any live form we know of, that it is incomprehensible.
That’s why we don’t know and don’t want to know.
The deep-space hunter eats a couple of planets for breakfast, sleeps in a black hole and once in a while dines on a couple of stars.
At its own pace the deep space hunter has eaten away whole solar systems, has left a strange emptiness behind it in the universe. One day it will come to our Milky Way and, God forbid, to our own solar system.
And we, with all our small worries and dreams, our whole planet will just be part of its breakfast.
Indeed a scary thought.
Every so often the deep-space hunter produces offspring.
Given that one day they might eat everything in our universe and leave it as barren and empty as a lot of us think it is right now, it doesn’t sound nice.
We don’t know and we don’t want to know. But not all the people on our planet are asleep. Some are awake and try to know.
They try to think of ways to make it possible for our planet to survive somehow inside the deep-space hunter. Knowing fine well that if our planet got swallowed one day the only possibility to survive would be if they could prepare the planet to be able to sustain some kind of liveable conditions either as a whole or as a part of the planet.
These clever people try to think of everything that might happen, including the unpredictable.
One of these options would be to change the entire planet into a massive space ship, with self-contained sections within.
Given that they don’t have a clue about the timetable, their task is almost hopeless.
For indefinite hundreds or thousands of years they will have to keep and spread the knowledge, to prepare for a questionable survival. Nevertheless that’s just what they are doing.
And when planet Earth is swallowed one day by the deep-space hunter, there will be miraculously parts of the planet that will survive and somehow the people will manage to live on a planet inside a being that is so alien to all they know that it is plainly incredible.
I’m not going to tell you they all lived happily ever after, because I’m not so sure about that. But it is a fact that when the universe collapses one day, a new one will be created, the seeds of a new generation of people will be there, and there is hope whatever happens, and we will survive.
The end
VI TREES AND HORSES
As the basket-rat went through the dream-door, lingering on the threshold for a moment, he entered a different world.
A wonderful, an amazing world.
For it was a place which had many things in common with our world, and yet it was so different.
There was day and night there, cold and warm.
There were plants and animals and even some kinds of people, but they were all slightly different.
The gravity was almost the same; there was wind and rain. Time was different, maybe a little bit slower, but it was definitely the same strong flow of time as it was in our world.
There was pain and there was pleasure.
Life itself was just as busy to grow and expand and change as it was here.
It was amazing, most amazing.
And of course there was so much beauty, sunsets, thunderstorms, evening breezes that blew ripples over quiet lakes, full moon nights with a myriad of stars all silvery and sparkling.
And there was so much difference.
Flying dogs, horses growing out of the soil and walking trees. Our basket-rat had a busy time trying to understand all that he saw. It was strange, very strange.
One of the first things he noticed after just watching for a while were the trees.
For they were all walking around.
They looked like trees all right, but our basket-rat had never seen trees walking around before, and he was surprised.
As he wandered slowly along, he came upon the horses. At least they resembled horses.
But they stood frozen, their hooves in the ground.
When he came nearer he had a close look. He saw that they really grew out of the ground.
“What a strange thing to happen”, he thought.
He stroked a horse then, but it felt more like stroking the soft bark of a willow tree then like stroking blood and flesh.
They moved though, these horses. They moved very slowly with the wind and somehow they seemed to glide and slide over the surface. But slowly, very slowly.
You could never see them moving.
Our basket-rat was delighted by the flying dogs. They looked so strange with their wings!
Tumbling and chasing each other through the air, they were as funny as anything.
When he turned his attention to the horses again, they were all in a different place. But you couldn’t see how they did it.
He tried to talk to them but the got no answer. Whilst he was observing the horses a tree had walked up to him.
It looked like a beech, but there were warm intelligent eyes in the tree, which smiled down on him.
Bending down a little, the tree spoke, “And who might you be little master?”
Our basket-rat was taken aback, but answered as politely as he could. “Well, I’m a basket-rat of course, but who are you and how come you can walk and talk?”
The tree smiled and said, “You want to come and meet our eldest and you can ask her all that you want. For she is a lot better at explaining than I am.”
So the two of them took off, the basket-rat safely cuddled up in the hollow of two mighty branches.
They talked now and then, asking each other questions as how things were on their different worlds.
Then the basket-rat told the tree about his friends, explained how excited the green-rabbit would be when he heard of this world! He asked the tree if the rainbow-dog had ever come to visit this world, but the tree didn’t know.
“You’ve got to ask our eldest, little friend”, he said.
It was growing dark when they came to the lake of the stepping-stones and our basket-rat woke up. Without knowing or wanting to he had slowly fallen asleep whilst the tree carried him.
Lots and lots of trees were standing at the shores of the lake. There was a murmur in the wind, a rumour of things old and days gone by. There were soft voices reciting poetry and others softly singing old old melodies.
There was peace.
Our basket-rat marvelled at all he saw and heard.
Then he saw her, and she was the biggest tree-like being he had ever seen. He knew instantly she was the eldest, no one needed to tell him that.
After they were duly introduced the basket-rat asked some questions, answered a whole lot more, and he found himself talking to the eldest for the rest of the night.
He learned how life was like on this world, why and how it was different from his own world, and he enjoyed himself greatly. As soon as the walking-trees learned that he liked melon-seeds, a tree was sent out to get some.
Before the night was over he was chewing away at his favourite food as happy as anything.
The trees walked him all over their world, showing him the nicest places and the best views.
Often the basket-rat travelled high up in the branches of the trees, surrounded by the birds. He found it marvellous.
One day he got homesick and went back to his own world, not without inviting his new friends to come and visit.
So if you ever encounter a walking-tree, it’s just a friend of our dear basket-rat on a return visit. You have nothing to fear, you might even talk to the tree. That they all lived happily ever after is as sure as the next Sunrise,
The end
VII ALWAYS AND NEVER
Always and Never really loved each other.
But they could hardly spend any time together.
Always was always late and Never was never there.
It was a big problem.
At times they were really unhappy about it and they started to suffer.
Pain was born.
Pair grew until the Gods noticed.
They didn’t like Pain, and so they had to do something about it.
The Gods froze Time, so everything happened in the one Moment.
In that Moment Always and Never could be together and be happy.
They had a child together and they called her Now.
Now was exquisitely beautiful, and so attractive that she was always surrounded by others.
Never and Always were so happy with their child that they managed to persuade Time to stop more often, so they could be together again.
They were happy.
The Gods smiled and laughed and were happy with them.
Now is the most important of all the children they know, and she balances the universe.
In the Sea of Time she is the one steady moment.
She is always Now and never Was or Will-be.
And of course they all lived happily ever after.
The end
VIII OUTSIDE AND INSIDE
Inside and Outside knew about each other. They wanted to meet, but they couldn’t get together.
Wherever Inside was, there was no place for Outside.
And wherever Outside was, there was no place for Inside. They suffered and Pain was born.
They desperately wanted to meet each other and Pain grew. Until the Gods noticed.
They didn’t like Pain. They wanted Inside and Outside to be happy.
The Gods made Mirror so that Inside could meet Outside.
They met and they talked and they liked each other very much. They were happy. Together they had a child called Surface.
They lived happily ever after.
The end
IX SHADOW
When Light and Dark finally came together they had a child called Shadow.
Shadow was a strange child.
She could be anywhere, change her form all the time, and often
Shadow split up into different persons and there were a lot of
Shadows.
Shadow is still around and wherever Light meets Dark Shadow is there with them.
They all lived happily ever after.
The end
X PAIN AND FEAR
It was later, much later.
Pain had grown and born a child called Fear. Fear grew as Pain became bigger and more powerful.
Pain and Fear together cast an ever-growing Shadow of Darkness on the world.
They were very strong together and very dangerous.
Happiness receded wherever Pain and Fear grew and the Gods had to do something about it.
Love was strong but alone she couldn’t win.
So Love had more children. Happiness was the oldest and then came Joy and Pleasure. She had Contentment and Basic, Laugh and Smile. Smile was her most beautiful child, and Basic was the strangest child. He was very small and he was happy with little.
Fear had a child called Greed. And Greed became at times very mighty.
The Gods who made Men and Women wanted them to be happy. They didn’t like Pain from the beginning, and they made Love ever so strong so she could resist Pain and Fear.
But when Fear bore Greed the Gods were at a loss for a while. All the good things they had planned for Man and Woman were endangered.
Pleasure could he stronger then Pain, and Love could be stronger than Greed, but Pain and Fear and Greed together were very mighty. The Gods sent more Light to Love and she grew. Love was stronger in the end, but many people suffered because they couldn’t find enough Love soon enough.
The Gods made Love very strong between Parents and Children, but Greed intervened and tried to grow in the Parent’s hearts.
Love is still around everywhere and there is no end to her. The more Love is given, the more of her there is.
Greed lives by false promises and rules through Fear. There is no need for Fear and Pain but People often don’t believe it.
That’s how Darkness spreads.
But Love grows everywhere Smile is seen or Laugh is heard and she grows all the Time.
Love was there from the beginning of Time, before Pain was born. In the beginning Life was very simple.
The more Emotions came and grew the more complex Life became. But Men and Women can learn to go back to the beginning and give only Love a place in their lives.
Then Happiness grows and surrounds them like a coat and Pain dies. When Pain dies Fear dies as well and Greed has no chance at all. Give and Take in the balance of Love creates Happiness and when Happiness arrives life is like the Gods want it.
The end
XI PAIN AND LOVE
There came a day that Pain bore Fear.
Pain and Fear together had Greed and Greed bore Hate. It was a black day.
From the beginning Hate tried to destroy Love. It was awful.
Love suffered but Smile and Laugh helped her.
Her other Children helped her too. Compassion became very strong and Care as well.
Care became the strongest opponent of Greed and she was absolutely miraculous.
When Pain grew old one day and had to die, Love was so happy that she transformed to a new state.
She spread like a warm light everywhere and she could be seen by anyone.
Love cares for Life and nurtures it in all its forms, and the Universe rings like a bell.
There is Harmony now and Life is fine.
It has been a long Struggle but the Gods can sit back now and enjoy.
The end
XII THE TAU OF LIFE
Deep down, in our very essence, we are all wonderful people. Oh yes, your neighbour too!
But to feel this divine touch, to realise this heavenly part of us, we need to be very quiet and start to listen.
That’s where praying and meditation come in. And music.
Because the Universe is built upon sound. The sound of Love.
The bliss of feeling and understanding this is wonderful. It surpasses everything else.
And if you can slowly let your blown-up ego go, and become more and more the real you, based upon this divine innermost part of yourself, you will become immensely happy and you will go with the flow. You can stop worrying, for all you need will come your way. You cannot stop working, because to use your skills and talents in the most useful way is a condition of life.
This is bliss. To be what you are and to do what you can do and must do.
Now you can start to see the real beauty of Life and the Universe.
You can break down all the barriers in your mind and become free and aware of the real Life.
Nothing will be hidden any more.
You can see auras and energy patterns.
You can start to see yourself and others and read people like a book.
You can see that Life is wonderful and that all the pains and sorrows that came your way were needed, had a purpose.
And also that you don’t need to suffer any more.
Happy memories can replace bad memories. Love and Happiness can replace Pain and Sorrow. This is the beginning.
And know and understand that all your emotions are given as a tool to you. They can touch the surface, they can be strong in your blown-up ego, but they can never touch your divine true self.
And know as well that your mind is a tool as well.
It is a part of you, but not your master. You can think what you want to think; you can feel what you want to feel.
Be quiet, more and more, so you can listen to your true self.
To use your mind and body and soul to be what you really are and want to be, to live and do what you can do and want to do, to make your life fulfilled in the nicest and easiest possible way is the Tau of life.
You are not on this planet to suffer
You are here to learn, to give and take in the balance of Love. To become more and more your true sell and to enjoy life.
The End