theo.tammes

VI THE TELEPHONE THAT WENT MAD

Well you know, you really ought to hear this story because it changed the world completely. It is so amazing that at first I couldn’t believe it?

You see one day a telephone, just an ordinary telephone, went mad.

That is to say, not really mad, it just kind of woke up and started thinking. All it’s life this telephone had just been functioning, like all the other millions of telephones but this one woke up and she decided (for it was a she) that she was fed up being just an instrument that others used. So she went mad. She simply refused to make the connections people had asked for and instead she made connections just as she wanted.

Also, she started ringing other numbers just as she felt like. The results were truly enormous. There was this guy in Paris who wanted to talk to his business partner in Brazil. Now he got connected to a polar bear in Alaska. You should have seen his face?

Then there was this fisher woman in Hong Kong. She wanted to talk to her brother and got connected to a Dutch police officer! This was only the beginning.

This telephone rang any number she would feel like ringing. She spoke to a child in Nepal, asked her name, how she lived, how the weather was and so on. She phoned anybody anywhere.

One day, the president of the United States phoned. He wanted to speak to some high official in Bahrain. Of course Mister President was not a little astounded when he got to talk to a whale in the arctic instead!

Whoever tried to ring anyone sure got someone else instead. Our telephone enjoyed herself immensely. She would have purred like a pussycat, had she been a cat!

Communication between people became so different. Then the most amazing thing happened one day. All the other telephones started to wake up as well. From this day onward life on planet Earth changed completely. The so-called International Communications Network just broke down. It was impossible to talk over the phone to anyone you had to talk to. On the other hand it was fun too. You could get phone calls from people you had never heard of and you could talk to them for a while. New friendships arose that way as well.

But of course business suffered, governments had huge troubles, and basically, after a while, all big international companies, governments and even local authorities started to crumble and disappear. Life changed. People had to talk to each other again, to their neighbours, to local people. In a way life became a lot simpler. You didn’t know so well anymore what went on far away in the world, but you knew a lot more about your own neighbourhood.

Nobody’s influence stretched much further than the local surroundings. One of the nicest things that happened was that all this big organised crime stopped as well.

These people couldn’t plot major crimes without contacting their helpers and so crime became local instead of global.

So if you pick up your phone one day and start to get strange connections, God, the same strange things might happen here and now as well.

THE END

VII ABOUT THE MICE AND THE MOON

Now of course you know that the moon is a big yellow cheese hanging out there somewhere high up in the heavens. But I think there are a few of you who realise that wherever there is cheese there are mice too.

Anyway, there are a lot of mice up there. Maybe they are a bit different from the mice down here on planet Earth but I would sure say they are mice. As you can imagine, these mice up there had a wonderful time. All the cheese in the world around, different tastes as well on different parts of the moon. Well, however as things go, one day some of these mice became tired of eating cheese all the time. Sure they loved it, you know, but sometimes a little change in diet can do wonders.

So these mice looked up to the heavens and saw other planets, other moons too. They decided to build a spaceship and go exploring the nearest planets and moons.

Now, you can imagine that it took a long time to build a spaceship but somehow they did and one day it was finished and ready to take off. Some of the mice went on board, they stored some cheese for the journey and went off. Now please don’t ask me why but of all the places, they had chosen to visit planet Earth first of all. Well, I think you can imagine what happened! They found the planet riddled with these enormous beings walking on two legs instead of four. The mice just couldn’t believe their eyes! Just think, all normal decent beings going on four legs and these giants on just two! The more they observed, the more shocked they were. These giants did not only do the strangest things, they were evil! They tried to kill all the small animals, including mice. God, believe it or not, they kept some strange kind of animal that was quite big as well and this being just hated mice!

Their terror was enormous and sincere. What a place they had come to!

For a while they stayed however, for there was plenty of nice food and there were a sort of mice as well on this planet. With them they had long talks. The earth-mice explained to them how hard it was to survive and live amongst these giants. The only thing they really liked was the abundance of food the giants spilled everywhere, which gave the earth-mice always more than enough to eat.

When the moon mice finally left, they took as many earth-mice with them on board the space ship as wanted to come. They flew home to the moon to report the horrible things they had seen on planet Earth.

After that I think they must have gone on travelling through space and I’m sure they found some nice planets or moons, but of course, little is known about that.

What I do know though, is that some of the moon mice stayed on Earth and they keep a regular contact to their home on the moon.

Sometimes when I hear about all these, "FLYING SAUCERS" I just wonder if it is not just another moon mice spaceship that is coming or going.

THE END

VIII THREE EARS IN A BASKET

Once upon a time, on a planet somewhere in the galaxy, very strange things happened.

Now listen carefully because this story might influence your life as well. On this planet one day two birds appeared. One was black, the other white. They carried a basket between them and put the basket dawn somewhere. Then they flew away and were gone for the rest of the day. In this basket were three ears. As you can imagine there was something special about these ears.

One of them could hear all that was in people’s minds. The second could hear all that was in people’s hearts and three being the magic number; the third one could hear all that people’s bodies had to say.

These three ears were simply amazing. All day long they would just listen to the people nearby and talk to each other about all they heard.

Then at night, the two birds-one black, one white- would come, pick up the basket and put it down somewhere else next morning.

This went on for a long time and so far nobody on this planet had noticed the basket or the ears. But, as it happened, one day a butterfly came to a little boy and fluttered in his ears the news about these three ears. Now this boy, of course, believed almost anything. As with most children, he found all that happened completely normal, or he thought all life was a mystery.

So without any hesitation the boy followed the butterfly to the basket with the three ears. Well, I dare say he was astounded when all of a sudden those ears started to talk and told him all about himself. Gosh, he just fell silent for a while. These ears were so pleased that finally someone had come to them, that they told him the nicest and sweetest things about himself. When in the end the boy had to go home, he told his mother straight away about these ears.

Now the mother knew that her boy was a little bit strange sometimes, he could be a little dreamer but this time he was so sure and sincere, that she finally went out with him to see those ears.

Well I’m sure you can imagine what happened. Such a surprise for his mother. Gosh, you should have seen her face! Those ears, they were so pleased with another visitor, they just kept on talking and talking, told her so many nice things about herself that the woman just glowed with content and happiness.

When they came home the mother told her neighbour about the ears. In her turn the neighbour told a friend.

Believe it or not, within a day not only the whole village knew, most of the country knew about the ears in the basket as well. The news spread like fire all over this little planet. From now on, everyone was on the lookout for the basket and as soon as it was spotted somewhere, the people would come and listen to what the ears had to tell them about their body’s, minds and souls.

All the people who had listened to the ears became so glad and happy. All problems disappeared because people started to understand themselves and others.

Of course it took a long time till the ears had talked to everyone on this planet but if you ever come across a little planet where everyone is happy and nice to each other and everybody goes along without stress and misunderstandings, well then you have found this planet.

Maybe these three ears will one day come to our little planet as well, because you know, nothing is impossible.

THE END

IX BABY CAMELS

Once upon a time, in a far away country, under a hot sun, twin camels were born. As you know, twin camels are very rare and these two were not only twin camels, they were Siamese twin-camel babies! Their mother was very happy to have them, although giving birth had been a hard labour.

They lived in a little oasis in the middle of a vast desert but I can tell you, it is very, very different from where you live. A desert looks so vast and empty, it can look so barren, but there is plenty of life. There are insects and birds and animals everywhere. In the day it gets so hot that you can burn your foot soles on the sand and in the night it can get so cold that you shiver and your teeth chatter. A desert is beautiful but very special. Life is reduced to the necessities of surviving conditions that are sometimes almost hostile to life. But oh, the glory of a sunset or a sunrise! The bliss of an endless range of blazing stars over your head at night. Such beauty you find nowhere else.

The mother camel had lived and travelled all her life in this desert. She knew exactly where she was, how far away the next oasis was and all she needed to survive.

The owner of this camel was a small man. He was a nomad, trading and travelling most of the time. He was not at all pleased with the Siamese twin camel babies. For him they looked quite useless, he didn’t know what to do with them.

When a day came he could sell the camel mother and her Siamese twin babies, he did so without any hesitation or sorrow.

So the camel mother and her Siamese twin baby camels moved away with their new master to another oasis. For a while everything was fine.

Then, as things go, the new master wanted to travel and found it would be difficult to take the Siamese twin camels along. The only use he could see in them was to kill them so he would have the meat and could

sell the skins. I can here you say now, how horrible, but that was just the way things happened in this far away country.

However things did not go as this man planned. Not at all! As soon as the camel mother saw their new master coming one morning with a big knife in his hand, she knew there was immediate danger and she got furious as only camels can be. You should have seen her!

With blazing, fiery eyes she charged and attacked the man, giving him no time to run or escape, she knocked him over, trampled on him till he stopped moving. I don’t think he was killed in the end, but sure he was very badly injured.

Then the camel mother turned around to her Siamese twin babies and told them to come along. They walked and walked for many days until they came to a place only camels knew about and no human being had ever set eyes on this place.

Here they stayed and lived far a long time. Our dear Siamese twin camels grew up and at last they weren’t babies any more, but grown up camels. Of course they were a funny sight!

From a distance, they looked like any camels, but coming nearer you could see they were grown together in the middle of their bodies.

Sometimes other camels came to visit this secret place and one day an old friend of the camel mother came. She found it was time to leave her two children on their own and go on with her friend.

The Siamese twin camels were on their own for the first time in their lives. Of course they managed fine, they never had any problems at all.

One day they set out, because they liked to see some more of the world. As all camels, they knew exactly where they were and where they were going. As things happen, a man spotted them one day, caught them and from then on the Siamese twins belonged to him. He was good to them and looked after them well.

A long time went by. Many times the sun rose and set. The stars lit the nights in the desert with their shiny beauty and the years came and went.

All this time a man was travelling through the desert country. He loved deserts, studied them, lived in them and never got tired of talking about them. He wrote books and articles about the deserts and life in the desert. He lived a simple life, similar to the desert people themselves and enjoyed it. As things happen, this man came one day to the oasis where the Siamese twin camels lived.

When he saw them, his wonder and joy was enormous. They were so pretty to him, so unique and utterly lovely. At the spot and instantly he fell in love with them.

He bought them from their master, paying the extortionate price the man asked for them without bargaining. Now the camels belonged to him. He set them free, told them they could go and do as they liked.

And what do you think happened? They just stayed with this man. For he was their friend and for them it was just nice to be with him, as it was for him to be with them.

In time, the man wrote books and articles about the Siamese twin camels. He illustrated the books with photographs and slowly the camels became famous. People from all over the planet came to see them. Television crews came to film them; film people came to show them in films, lots of biologists came to study them. The little oasis grew and prospered. Of course, sometime, much, much later, the camels died. They had had a great life with their friend and no other animals on this planet were ever as famous and beloved as they were.

The man kept on living in the desert. He erected a tomb for the Siamese twin camels with their statues on top made out of marvellous stone. People kept visiting the oasis to pay homage to the only known twin camels in the world.

So, if you haven’t managed to see them yourself when they were still alive, you can still go to this oasis in the desert in this far away country and visit their graves, admire their statues and get a little bit of the feeling how life in the desert can be.

THE END

X THE HOUSE THAT NEVER GOT COLD

Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman. They lived in a nice flat, in a wonderful city, in the prettiest country you can imagine.

This couple loved each other dearly and tenderly. They lived together and most of the time everything was just wonderful.

They listened to music they liked, told each other fabulous stories, talked, worked, ate nice food and enjoyed life. But, they had one problem. That was the heating.

They could not switch on the heating themselves, for the switch was in a neighbour’s flat. This neighbour lived a completely different rhythm of life than they did. So, many days, when they were up, it was cold in the house. Luckily this man had built a fireplace and as long as they had coals or wood, they could make a nice warm fire and everything was fine. Sometimes though, they ran out of wood and coal, the heating was off and they were cold.

One day as it happened, they had enough of this and talked to each other about what they could do about it and of course they found a solution. The man climbed up in the sky, took the sun and placed it in their fireplace. How warm and nice it was!

Everything was wonderful again. But then the telephone rang. It was somebody saying, "I understand you want some warmth and light, you know, but what about me? I’m working outside all the time, and it’s cold and freezing out there.

From that moment on the phone never stopped ringing and one after the other, people knocked at their door as well and complained about the cold and darkness in the world.

After a while this man and woman realised they had to put the sun back in it’s place to give all the others their share of light and warmth. With a sinking heart the man took the sun out of their fireplace and climbed up in the heavens again. He thought of all the others he was going to please and he thought how cold the house would be again. But, when he came home, the house glowed in a warm, sunny light.

He couldn’t believe it. Somehow, a little bit of the sun must have stayed behind in the fireplace, or there might be another reason. Never mind, from this day onwards, their house was always filled with a warm soft glow.

And he and his woman lived happily ever after.

THE END

XI THE PLANET OF RED FISHES

Once upon a time, somewhere in the vastness of our galaxy, there was a planet. Of course it was beautiful. This planet was mostly covered with water. There was some land as well, but not much.

On this planet there were only fishes, no other animals. There were lots of plants and trees, but only one kind of animal. Fishes.

They were all red. Boring, you would say? Well no, not really.

Maybe in the beginning, because in the beginning these fishes were all red. Every single one of them and there were lots of them. All different sorts and sizes. You name them, they were there. As it happened on day a tiny little fish was born with a different colour. It was a white fish.

They couldn’t believe their eyes. No one had seen or heard anything like

it. Of course they talked to the white fish. "How come you are white"? they asked, "and we are red?" Well this little white fish could absolutely see nothing strange in this.

Now, you all know, once a miracle happens, others will follow. And of course they did.

One day a little yellow fish was born. The same thing happened with all the red fishes, they all came to have a look and couldn’t believe their eyes. Another colour still!

They never got tired of talking about it, wondering and pondering. Only the white fish thought it was perfectly normal. It just said, "You’re a fish, I’m a fish. What’s the problem?" Because the white fish and yellow fish were kind of strange amongst all those red fishes, they stayed quite close together and became good friends.

And so the years went by.

Then one day a blue fish was born, and an orange one. Then a black one

and a green one. There was no end to it. Any colour you can think of, there was a fish in that colour on this planet. It was just amazing!

And, as things go, fishes of different colours fell in love with each other and the young fishes born out of these love affairs were still more amazing.

They would have a mixture of their parent’s colours. After a while there was such an amount of different coloured fishes, you wouldn’t believe it.

There were fishes with stripes of blue, red and gold. Of black, yellow white and green. There were fishes with different coloured spots all over, every pattern you can imagine. Every combination you could possibly think of was there. It was wondrous.

These were the most beautiful fishes you can imagine.

Then one day a spaceship landed. Of course, it came from another planet, somewhere out there in the vastness of our beautiful galaxy. It’s hard to describe this spaceship, Most of all it looked like a big balloon. And it was painted in splendid colours. Bright green, orange spots, purple stripes and all over this spaceship fishes were painted.

I think this race must have loved fishes for some reason.

Now to me it seems almost impossible to describe how these beings looked. Maybe imagine a bag of potatoes with some big bubbles in different places? They didn’t have any arms or legs or what we would call a head. They didn’t resemble human beings at all.

Somehow, if they needed to do something, a kind of tentacle would appear, but to me it seemed they were different all the time. You couldn’t see how they moved; they seemed to flow over the ground in one soft, gliding movement.

They were the most amazing beings I have ever seen! I think they didn’t speak like us either. They made noises sometimes but I think they used telepathy, communicated directly from mind to mind.

And when these beings saw the fishes in all their splendid colours, they were thrilled!

They were absolutely delighted. Never could they stop watching them,

their hearts were filled with joy! Do you know what? They just turned this planet into a holiday resort for themselves.

They built some kinds of dwellings as they needed them and soon spaceship after spaceship came and brought all the beings from this other planet. They came to admire the fishes, to enjoy their beautiful colours and be filled with happiness.

So, if you ever come across a planet where there is a lot of coming and going of spaceships looking like big balloons, go have a look yourself, Because the splendour of these fishes down there is sure worth a visit.

THE END

XII THE LITTLE MAN IN THE ANT HEAP

Once upon a time, there was an ant heap. It was situated in a beautiful little forest, in a lovely country, somewhere on a wonderful little planet.

The ant nest looked completely normal, but of course there was something special about it. The ants were all fine, normal ants, they lived normal ant lives and were busy doing so most of the time. But somewhere inside of this big ant heap lived a tiny little man. That man was perfectly all right, in all respects he was just like you and me, only he was small, very small. In fact he was smaller than most of the ants.

All his life he had lived in this ant heap. Actually he was even born in there as well. Out of an egg he came, an egg that looked completely normal like any ants eggs.

Now I can hear you say, "nonsense, men are not born out of eggs! Men are never so tiny!"

Well, don’t ask me why, but this tiny little man came out of an egg, in an ant heap, and he was sure the smallest man I’ve ever seen.

The ants raised him, just like their own young ants; in fact they had looked after him very well. As this tiny man knew nothing about the big world outside or other men, he was content and happy with things as they were. He grew up playing with the ant’s children; taking rides on the back of grown up ants, just like you might on a horseback. Sometimes he went out with the other ants, as they gathered food or other things they needed. He would then mostly ride on a big ant’s back; sometimes he would walk a little.

The years came and went, a lot of things happened, as they always do, but basically nothing strange ever happened. Our tiny man had a good time and was happy as anyone can be.

Now, I know it sounds a bit strange, but as things happen, one day another tiny little human was born in this ant nest. That one grew up as well, and had an even better life, because apart from all the ants, he had a tiny little human friend, who played with him and talked to him.

All the ants, and these two tiny men had a very good life, on sunny days they would go out into the big world and admire nature, smell all the different smells from all the pants, the flowers and the trees and enjoy themselves.

Now, you know something else would happen someday and it sure did.

It started snowing one day. Masses of wonderful tiny snow crystals slowly descended from the heavens. They were the most beautiful snow crystals you have ever seen. Outside the world turned white and quiet, covered in a thick layer of snowflakes. Inside life went on as pleasant as ever.

The two tiny men went out for a bit, just to see and feel the snow, but although everything was beautiful, the going was rather hard, even for ants. They soon returned.

But between the two of them, the tiny men carried a snow crystal inside the ant heap, for they liked to study its beauty for a little more.

Now you all know that ants keep their heaps at a nice, warm temperature all the time. And you know as well, that snow crystals need to be kept in the cold; otherwise they melt and turn into water.

So as the two tiny men sat in their room watching the snow crystal it slowly began to melt. They kept on staring for they were fascinated, because they had never seen that before. When in the end, the snow crystal had completely melted; it still kept on changing its form. Very, very slowly this little drop of water turned into a tiny fairy.

Now our tiny men had never seen a fairy in their lives, they hadn’t even heard about fairies. They blinked their eyes a couple of times, but the little fairy just stayed where she was.

She looked so lovely, long, soft, dark hair. Golden eyes and her whole being was so sweet and lovely that the hearts of our two tiny men opened wide to her.

When the fairy saw this she smiled at them, and began to talk. She had the sweetest, most wonderful voice you have ever heard in your life!

These two tiny men felt so happy and warm, so wonderful was it to them to be with this being. Slowly she started telling them about herself, her family, about all the wonders out there in the big world.

She told them about all the other men and women living out there. She explained to them that these people were about seven hundred times bigger than they were. The two tiny men fell silent. They were completely captured by her voice. A lot of what she told them, they couldn’t understand at first at all.

The fairy stayed with them for a long time. Day after day she lived with them and told them about the big world outside. Then one day, as she found they knew enough, she told them she had a gift for them.

They could each of them have a wish and it would be fulfilled. She could turn them into normal human beings, so they could go and take their places in the world amongst their fellow men, or they could just stay as they were and live amongst the ants.

For a long time these two tiny men couldn’t decide. The choice was difficult. Then one of them chose to be a normal human being and the other chose to stay as he was.

That may seem strange to you, but that’s the way it happened. One stayed in the ant’s nest, more alone now, but the fairy came every so often to visit him and tell the news about his friend. What happened to the other one, who went out into the big world is really a different story.

As far as I know, he found it hard in the beginning. To deal with so many others, who all had had so many different experiences in their lives was not easy.

He had to learn to look after himself, find a place to live, find a job and all those things we have to do. But he managed and as time went by it became easier and easier.

He lived a happy and fulfilled life out in the big world, but he never forgot where he came from, and always he kept a special love and admiration in his heart for the ants.

And maybe one day, these two friends will come together again, because you know, nothing is impossible.

THE END